I have been asked how much I am going to open myself up on this blog. At first I do feel that I need to be guarded. Yes, there are some things that I will keep private, just because I feel there is a such thing as sharing too much.
But there is one thing that I have been grinding on, if I should share or not. It has been my depression that I had afterwards, and before as well. It’s taken a lot more for me to share this.
About a year before my SCA I had my daughter, I was over weight and just very unhappy with myself and my body. I also was unsatisfied just how things were going or not really going. I felt like I was just drifting, no real sense of direction. Don’t get me wrong I love being mom. Sometimes I just like to sit back and watch the, They are amazing. It’s hard to find yourself and to keep who you are while trying to be a mom and basically give yourself over to everyone else’s needs and wants. I was so stressed out I really think that my stress and unhappiness added to my SCA .
I don’t remember much leading up to my event. I just remember feeling like I was drowning in my own depression, wanting to cry out for help. Why I didn’t say anything to anyone was because I was afraid.