I have always done the running thing. I have gone in and out of love of it ever since I can remember. Now that I am not doing full on roller derby (les sigh), I have to find other ways of dispensing what little energy I have.
So I do strength training, but I don’t do so much weight lifting (avoid screwing up my leads). I know there are very many thoughts about running whether it is good for you or bad for you, how much you should be doing all of that jazz. I will admit I have been gaining weight, especially this last year, I had to have my meds increased. It doesn’t feel good stepping on the scale and a pound is added… Also having to find a happy balance of pushing yourself but not pushing yourself to the point of causing an arrhythmia or just going over your allotted heart rate (that part really blows). I started out as slow as I could, but I did and still get frustrated with myself for not feeling like I push myself hard enough, though I know I am doing what I can.
Back to why I run. Like I said I have always had a weird relationship with running, I either love it or hate it. And I am still there, sometimes it feels good and sometimes I don’t bother. But lately it has been nice, I think because instead of running around on the streets I found a trail to run. Pretty sure it’s not really made for running, more like for mountain biking, or hiking. I like it anyways, I have already busted my knee open on it, there was a lot of cursing.
I get to go on my own pace and I have to (sometimes) really focus on where I place my feet, especially on going down the hills, there is a lot of loose rocks. It gives me the time, not necessarily to think about the day but to see where I am at, at the moment. That is something I felt I always needed to work on, just being the moment and turning off the crap around me. It feels like that is what running is giving me at the moment, I am not focused on how far I have gone, my speed or the calories I have burned (or haven’t). Just there outside within the sage brush and relishing those moments alone.