Category: School and the not so finer things

The program that I am in, we have school as well as clinical hours in a hospital. It’s very draining, you go and have your clinical spend all day running around trying to figure out what is what. You get home and have to reign yourself. in to study. I live in an area where we don’t have that particular type of education close. So about once a month there is traveling out of state and having crash courses within 2 days and you are sent back to fend for yourself on your studies.

So it gets pretty crazy. There are times that I feel like I have to fight with myself to keep moving. My energy levels are not where I feel they should be. Most days I feel like I swim through a viscous substance. I force at times my body to continue to push itself to do what it needs to preform. It is very exhausting, and frustrating. I try not to say anything because there are those who are single mothers or are taking care of family that are able to hold down a job or two and are making it work. They quietly help push me to continue.

So, I haven’t written in so long and I have missed it. Writing on this has been such a help for me to keep myself focused and to be able to see where I am and where I have been. I think sharing it with others helps.

I worked so hard to get into a radiography program. My goal is to do Echo. I got into the program last Fall. It has been none stop, it really has taken more out of me than I thought it would. In the end I do think it will be worth it. I defiantly don’t have the stamina that I used to have. It’s been a struggle to balance home life, clinicals, studies as well as my health

Having the support from family and friends has been a godsend. My fellow students have also been a cornerstone in my continued education. It has been a tough transition from stay at home mom to a full time student and having clinical hours in a hospital. But with the support from everyone around me makes feel that I can continue this venture at full speed.

My goals is to really buckle down in school and work on writing more, because this is really a been a good release for me.

I hope I can make it up to those who might actually be reading this!

Chete

 

Now that I have started to go to school for a medical profession there are a lot of things that you have to do to get going for school and the profession. One of them for me is taking a CPR class. Normal enough right, lots of people do it.

It was normal, I guess. Well, honestly I felt weird. I did what was asked and learned what all I need to do to help save someone. Pushing down on the manikin, I just was kinda dazed out on the feeling of the chest compressions. 30 and 2, 30 and 2. What did it feel like, the pressure from someone pushing down on my chest trying to give enough force to push my heart to start again. The breaths that go in and let the chest raise and fall.

I just kept imagining myself, and my friends going to work and being able to set aside that their friend was so close to death to be calm and composed to do what was needed. 30 and 2, 30 and 2. I guess for me I just get a different perspective, there were moments I thought I might have lost it, but I think it was knowing I could give back one day what others have given me.

If anything, having the CPR training is truly an amazing thing to have. Sometimes it’s just you and the person, or help can’t get to you in time. You are the first in the line of defense to help someone live.

In school they talk about how you can be who you want to be. Ummm, fuck no, sorry but that is a load.  I try not to tell my kids the same thing, because I want them to be better and wiser than me. But the reality is, not all of us have that control, and also saying that gives a sense of entitlement. There are these things called circumstances, they like to pop up and really screw with things, and if you want something you need to push yourself past those things to grab your end goal.

Starting school was more for me to help get my brain going. I didn’t really expect any long term education was going to come out of it, especially a career path. It was honestly to make sure the 5minutes plus my oxygen deprived brain didn’t kill out on me all together going forward.

I have not and still am not one of those people who are like, wow this is what I am going to do and I am going to do it. I am the type who starts something and then I am like ummm this is not for me, or I get bored. Hence why I have had so many jobs, because I get bored because I don’t ever see a chance to progress.

Starting out I just took some basic classes, mostly because I didn’t remember much (it had been 10 years plus). I found that I actually enjoyed the challenge and I missed the learning process.  I got one year in, which considering I was not even a year out from my SCA. But after that year, I found something that would be cool, radiology. It wasn’t just to take x-rays that I was looking at, but to get my foot in the door to do echocardiograms. And thus a new part of my life starts (well another one).