Stay at Home Mom

Just from how people have acted when I say that I am a stay at home mom(mostly scoffing), that there is a bad wrap about it, lazy, boring person. Not going to lie, I would like to have nothing to do and be bored out of my mind. But it’s not like that for me anyways. What my day is like the same thing day in and day out is so mundane. Though most days get derailed anymore since we have moved to the “country”. Either have a goat terrorizing the garden, or the one duck has managed to trap itself in a bucket. My daughter who never leaves a moment to be dull by coloring something or dismantling something you didn’t even know it could be taken apart or my son who has great stories to tell but unfortunately they have no ends.

For me I feel like who I am has gotten lost in the day in day out of motherhood. I have been so uncomfortable for doing things for myself. People say go ahead and do it for yourself, splurge a little bit. Fact is, I feel guilty about it I don’t feel like I add much in the way of family finances, and I use money that I have never thought of as mine or have felt like I was apart of making it.

I think now I am learning how to have time to myself, but also how to cherish the time I do have with my kids. My views of spending time with my kids is now something more than just a day in and out experience, but that I have the privilege of being at home with them. Soon it will change, and I will miss my time with them.

Seeing where I was before the SCA as a woman and a mother… Well, I feel that I have changed dramatically. I know I keep saying that, but it is not nonsense. Where I would just flow in and out of my days in a blur. It was not at all the life I wanted. Did I want kids and the house and the husband, yeah. I think growing up and having things happen to myself, it has made me look at me, or the not me. Now seeing what all is out there, I am scared to go right back into it. I now understand than I can be who I want to be and still be a mother.

 

 

My disordered self

Sometimes I get mad at myself for having the SCA. I think it has more to do with the feeling like I have let others down. I know I have written that I have been at upset by hurting others around me. But there has been I real self hate towards myself. We live in a world where (some of us anyways) feel like they have control over their selves.  I wouldn’t say I am a control freak or has ever really been.

I don’t know, I guess because I never had any real memories of the event, I have had a lot of self hate because of this and just the complete out of control. You would like to feel like you can always have the chance to say no or to tell someone to stop. But the helplessness really plays around in my mind sometimes. I know it was all in attempt to save my life, but there is this weird feeling that just makes me want to hate myself for all of this.

In school they talk about how you can be who you want to be. Ummm, fuck no, sorry but that is a load. Not going to lie, I tell my kids the same thing, because I do want them to be better and wiser than me. But the reality is, not all of us have that control, and also saying that gives a sense of entitlement. There are these things called circumstances, they like to pop up and really screw with things, and if you want something you need to push yourself past those things to grab your end goal.

I guess in the end it all comes down to that not so simple thing…. a choice, that we have to own

Number, silly

I have had a new phone number for months and have had a hell of a time at remembering it. People gave me really strange looks when ever they would ask me for my number and I would have to look through my phone to find it. When I would make calls and have to give my number, I am sure they thought I was loony because I would again have to search for my number. There was a lot of hang up as well, because my fat fingers would hit the wrong button. But finally this week I remembered it. Dorkie, I know but I am so happy to finally have remembered. Though I still have a hard time remembering my daughters birthday.